SDAc's Beat The Nigerian Factor

"Dear Tayo...You are a hypocrite"(An Anonymous "Admirer" Writes!)

The success philosophies I subscribe to, teach that one needs to ALWAYS Think And Act Like A Success In Order To Become One.

Jim Donovan in his best-selling ebook(titled "This Is Your Life, Not A Dress Rehearsal") that I bought from www.asamanthinketh.com in 2001, described a technique called Fake It Till You Make It. He explained it by saying that without mis-representing him/herself, the person who seeks success must act as if (and BELIEVE) s/he has already become the successful person s/he wants to be.

You would speak in the present continuous tense about the value you intend to deliver. For instance you would say "I Help People Solve Their Business Financing Problems" and NOT "I Hope To Help People Solve Their Business Financing Problems". Your apparent self-belief is what will convince persons sincerely interested in having THAT kind of problem solved to engage you.

The foregoing is why in everything I do, I work hard to create an image for myself that reflects where I want to be/how I want to be perceived.(My multi-site website presence for instance is proof of this).

THAT is what it means to have VISION!

Jim Rohn explained in one of his books that life will always give us challenges that will cause us to complain and/or want to give up. He added that there cannot be success in the absence of adversity. This, according to him is why we should "rejoice in adversity" because it "forces" our spirits to grow.

Then again there is the wisdom contained in the following quotes:

“Success tends not to go to the person who is error-free, because he also tends to be risk averse. Rather, it goes to the person who recognizes that life is pretty much a percentage business. It isn’t making mistakes that’s critical; it’s correcting them and getting on with the principal tasks.”
– Donald Rumsfeld, U.S Public Official and Business Executive

“Either do wrong or feel guilty, but don’t do both; it’s too much work.” – Rudolf Dreikurs (1897 – 1972) Psychiatrist

“To succeed, one must keep one’s eyes focused on one’s destination, not where one has stumbled” – Nigerian proverb on billboard along 3rd mainland bridge, Lagos.

'If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed
him. Of course, no one would have remembered him either.' – Anon.

Obviously the person who sent me the email message I share on this page did not understand any of the above.

I know he is not the only one who nurses the feelings he has expressed against me - which is good 'cos it means I am not irrelevant :-).

That is why I reproduce this email and my response to it, as further proof that Nigerians are their worst enemies - perpetuating the Nigerian Factor.

Also, I do so for the sake of others who may find themselves in a similar situation to mine, and who might not have as much self-belief as I did to deal with it.

DO NOT let anyone kill your dreams for you with their unsolicited visitations of poisonous negativity!

I got the amazing email in the box below through both my website contact form, and my Yahoo! mail box. It was sent on Tuesday, but I did not check my mails till Wednesday p.m. Note that text of the entire email has been reproduced unedited/ verbatim - save for spacing out to allow for easier reading.

Below it, is the text of a detailed response I did to the sending email address within an hour of opening/reading it.

Note also that I have no idea who uses the "funny" email address from which this was sent to me - even though the writer claims to be an "admirer" who knows me well, and "loves" me. Also, the email was not signed off with a name. One wonders what made it necessary to hide behind an email address if the intentions were truly honorable?

See my closing comments at the bottom of this page(below the box containing my response) - Including the adapted version of an article by Time Magazine published way back in 1999, that explains why Nigerians behave the way they do, towards Entrepreneurs. A very illuminating read indeed.

PLEASE feel free to email this page to your friends. I will thank you for it.

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----Start of Email From My Anonymous "Admirer"-----

Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 01:59:12 -0800 (PST)
From: "omo naija" <omonaija999@yahoo.com> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: HOW ARE U SIR !!!
To: olufelatks@yahoo.com

Dear tayo,
Am impressed about ur desire to make it in life and do pray 4 ur success always but I will quickly add that that you’re not a good coach as u claim to be cos u never practise what u preach……

u always want people to believe in you while u giv others little or no regard to critical views they may hold against you…..

i have known u 4 a while now and quite well too, so I can talk about u well…….recently we ur admirers noticed dat u’ve put madam in the family way again despite the fact that u can hardly cope wit d present condition and number of household u have and it’s people like u dat will first castigate others dat hav done dis untimely act of yours……….

also I’ll advise dat u remuv d log in ur eyes always b4 remuvin d speck in others, also I doubt if u giv thanx to God at all cos I make bold to say dat u exaggerate the life challenges u claim to go tru cos if u pay house rent and other utility bills like we do and still have a family to cater for, u wil appreciate the naija factor better, rather than complain about things wen it’s obvious dat u’re being sheltered by ur folks……..

who I believe will tolerate too much to cope with u and ur family. Finally, u need to re-accept Christ Jesus back into ur life without wich u can’t make any meaningful headway my dear broda, cos d few times we’ve discussed u seem to hold no serious regard 4 ur creator………

u’ll probably never get any other person to talk 2 u like dis cos life is full of hypocrites but since I luv u so much I have decided to open up to u and wil like u to reminisce over dis cos it’s all true……..

take care and kip dis writer informed cos am ur only and major CRITIC who wil ever b objectiv in subsequent mails

----End of Email From My Anonymous "Admirer"-----

Box Below - the text of my response(sent as an MS Word attachment) to the above email address used by my anonymous "admirer".

I feel a need to clarify my position regarding religious people(as in my response below). There are exceptions - one good example being Pastor Tunde Bakare, a man for who I have great respect/admiration and enjoying listening to EVEN though I am not a believer.

Reason : He speaks truth with passion. He makes himself relevant to society by taking positive action to correct what he sees as wrong. And he makes a point of empowering his people to be INDEPENDENT of him. Anyone who is like this man, is an exception to what i have given as a blanket statement about religious people.

----Start of My Response-----

What saddens me the most is that you think because you know the details of the circumstances of my struggles you can conclude that I do not practice what (I) preach.

I state here that all you have written only confirms one thing: You do not know what it takes to keep going when EVERYONE around you knows your actual situation.

Why do many Nigerians feel ok traveling abroad to wash dead bodies, clean toilets, and do other menial jobs overseas in order to make it??

Why don't they remember to tell those of us back here that they meet WHAT THEY HAD TO DO to get the silly forex they come back to show off out here. Why don't they tell us that they get exposed too huge insults by white people who look down on them as inferior?

Answer is simple - they do not want anyone to know the HUMULIATION they went/are going thru to achieve the success they claim they have.

No one in life is immune to mistakes. I know I have never told anyone I am perfect. However, I am sincere, honest, upright and willing to do the RIGHT and HONORABLE thing to succeed, no matter how long it takes or how hard it is.

You sit there, in the comfort of your job, and pass judgment on me, when I am the one who has to daily find reason to keep believing in myself despite the devastating impact of what I, like many others am exposed to because I want to be an entrepeneur. Tell me you are not earning a salary, and I will send back a word file filled with the acronym LOL - which means "Laughing Out Loud"!

if you want to earn my respect and make me take ANYTHING you say seriously, you MUST demonstrate a willingness to expose yourself to what I have to face out here.

None of us will ever follow the same path to success in life as the next person. We all have unique challenges to face. No one is born to succeed in a "fashionable" way. Achievement of success will sometimes make us endure tremendous humiliation. it is one's ability to get up AFTER failing flat on one's face, due to (sometimes silly) mistakes one makes that truly determines if one will be worthy of the reward of lasting success.

I have not given up on myself. Neither have I EVER hidden the details of my situation from ANYONE. You may think you know what you consider my secrets, but I will assure you I have NEVER hidden any of those things you know from others. At the end of this email I will give you email addresses of people who knew me BEFORE I ever left Guinness, and who have sought me out since then. I challenge you to forward your email to them and ask them if there is ANYTHING you claim to know about me that I have not told them already.

The problem with black people is that we thro away the baby with the bath water. Most of us do this because we think the person we "judge" is too confident or arrogant, so we switch to our "pull-him-down" mode.

If you want to give feedback, make sure you study and KNOW the person you want to draw conclusions about.

If anyone is afraid to give me feedback THAT is the person's problem. If you think the fact that I live with my parents, and have had to suffer the indignity of having them help me out while I carry on my struggle to achieve my vision, then I can tell you that you need to do MORE reading to educate yourself about what it means to have a dream and pursue it NO MATTER WHAT.

Do you really think you know what it takes to keep believing in yourself despite repeated failures and rejections????? Do you??? I feel really sorry for you. You think I just wake up and sleep comfortable in the home of my parents????????? You are certainly the BIGGEST joker of the century.

What you fail to realise is that people like me are the few left who have ANYTHING close to HOPE to offer people like you. We are the ones who are willing to endure hardship without cutting ANY corners to achieve our personal goals. And we are willing to also show others how, without wanting anyone to hero-worship us. I am aware that MANY people do not want me to succeed because of the position I have taken on many issues. And they always take the pains to widely publicise any failings I have or mistakes I make. People like you have access to their "news channels" and that's why you think you can send me childish emails like this.

A little education for you. Dan Kennedy once wrote about a gentleman who today is financially independent who during his days of struggle found himself living in the BASEMENT of his sisters house with his entire family for many months. The American system that rewards original, creative efforts eventually enabled that man emerge from that situation to one that today makes him the envy of many.

You live in this country like I do and sit down to pas judgment on me regarding my struggles to achieve authentic success??

I feel bad saying it but you are indeed IGNORANT. The quote below should reduce your level of IGNORANCE.
---------------------------------------------
Winning does not make you strong. Our struggles develop our strengths. When we go through hardships, and decide not to surrender - That is strength. – Arnold Schwarzenneger
-------------------------------------

Please feel free making any insinuations you like about me anywhere you like. I will tell you I have never needed admirers. What I want to see is CHANGE around me in people I make contact with. Rather than see what I am doing wrong, ask yourself if what I say makes sense for you to do to make YOUR life better.

I do not want to be liked - and I do not want a FAN club. That is why I keep to myself. Sitting in a company you work for and thinking you know what it feels like to be out on one's own is NAIVETY at its worst.

But then it is the Nigerian society that creates little people like you. I have no apologies for saying this.

Final words. I DO NOT believe in GOD. Never will. If you can get this into your hopefully not-too-thick skull, you will understand then that I do not need to re-dedicate myself to anyone.

(While we are on the subject of GOD, PLEAAAAAASEEEEE tell me why your wonderful country remains the home of the greatest rot and decadence known to civilized society, DESPITE all its holy people like yourself. You can give any answer you like but the truth is that you so called religious people are the greatest cowards around. You sit around praying instead of acting on what you claim to believe. That’s why UNVBELIVERS who claim to believe(so they can win you over) remain your leaders in government and society. That’s why Scandal after scandal continues to rock this land in and out of your churches, mosques, companies, and government.

Why is the MD of playboy magazine still successful today. Abi no be because I never get money yanfu yanfu like am na him you dey tell me say I no fit get headway without so and so in my life? Keep deluding yourself. I DO NOT need to join a crowd of weak-minded fools who allow society’s decay to turn them into mediocres.

As for my parents, since they are not yours, don't you think you should leave them and me to sort each other out? Or have you ever heard of any family that did not have their problems??

I thank you GREAT THINKER for your wonderful feedback. I am certain that in the next five years, I will hear that you have become a beacon of light and hope for others to follow. I am trying to do something NEW/Useful with my life that will benefit others - including my kids. If it means I will have to be mocked, ridiculed, laughed at and challenged with emails and phone calls like yours, be informed that I am ready.

Feel free to say I am lucky to have a place to live in with my family. I will answer by challenging you to try being in such a situation for as long as I have and see if you have any self-belief left.

In the name of whatever and whoever you worship, PLEASE do not bother to annoy me with another email of this nature. There is nothing new you want to say to me, from what I have read. So, keep your peace. If you cannot help yourself, get a web log like mine and begin writing about me there. Then email others to read what you have written. That way, you should become quite popular.

PS: If/when next you decide to write me, be bold enough to use your personal email and sign it off. That way when I display it on my website(as I plan to do with this one), people will be able to add their own “comments” and/or “venom” to it.

“Remain blessed brother LOVE”!"

----End of My Response-----

I now ask these questions:

a). Is there anything wrong with a humble beginning?

b). Must I accept to do wrong things because I do not want to suffer the embarrassment of not having enough money to support my family?

c). Is it okay to allow others use you/your name to get money they are not entitled to, because you want to be a MAN, and can therefore not allow yourself to be denied opportunities to earn money from certain quarters?

d). If an unwillingness to do dis-honorable things to achieve quick success results in prolonged suffering and lack, should I be ashamed?

e). If a fair and impartial system that adequately rewards hard work, creativity and merit is lacking in the environment where I choose to do all the above, will it be right to accuse me of exaggerating if I talk about it?

f). Should I feel inferior because I do not have as much money or "success" as others who cut-corners?

I answer NO, NO and NO to all the above questions. Instead I say:

1. I will work hard as long as I have breath inside of me to achieve my desired goals through honorable means.

2. I will not be in a hurry, and I will not let anyone hurry me up by trying to emphasise my failures without offering me a viable alternative to pursue.

3. Taking a stupid egotistical decision to reject available support for my family in order to prove that I am a man will only confirm that I am NOT. A real man will not jeopardise the security of his family by going on an ego trip.

4. Accepting to give or take gratification in order to be able to have enough money to fulfil my obligations as a MAN makes no sense. What would you call a self-confessed Christian who when challenged by a mob to declare his faith, says he is a free-thinker, in order to avoid being killed?

5. If the audience in my immediate physical environment is unwilling to give me a chance to profitably pursue the goals I have set for myself by serving them, I will seek patronage from OUTSIDE it.

Visit my Custom Excel Automation(http://www.excelheaven.v27.net) and Creative Business Solutions (http://www.cbsolutions.v27.net) mini-sites to see how I am alreay doing this.

It is interesting to note here that many of my articles are already being synidcated across the Internet.

Yet in over 4 years NOT ONE of my articles has been published by any of the Nigerian media houses I sent them to(one time even after physical meetings with the concerned journalist, who then requested for specific submissions). Whatever THEY are looking for in terms of content, is certainly a well-kept secret because I have tried unsuccessfully to find out!

I Will Not Compromise On My Beliefs

Napoleon Hill wrote that a weakness that must be mastered by anyone who desires success is that of INDIFFERENCE which he said is easily reflected in a person's willingness to "compromise" instead of fighting against opposition whenever s/he encounters it.

A True Entrepreneur Needs No Samaritans.

James Cook was quite right in making - what amounted to - the above assertion in his New York Times best selling book titled "The Start-up Entrepreneur".

This is because a true entrepreneur will be offering to ADD value to what a prospective client(or investor) is doing FOR A PROFITABLE FEE(or investment). The relationship will be mutually beneficial, hence neither party will be doing the other a favour!

In Nigeria, many employees who represent their companies get it wrong. They think they are doing the entrepreneur a favour(same applies to individual clients and prospective investors). One can't blame them sometimes - especially when one sees how certain lazy weak-minded individuals go around begging to be given contracts even when they are not competent to deliver what is desired.

However, if you are an employee at any level I warn you to remember you will one day have to retire, resign or get kicked out. Except you leave with so much money that you never need to earn more to carry on living your life comfortably, you will have to do some business.

Whatever unfair treatment you dish out to an entrepreneur today may just end up being done to you then (Ever heard of the Law of Karma?). For those who are religious, I believe there is a saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

TIME MAGAZINE ALREADY EXPLAINED WHY NIGERIANS BEHAVE THE WAY THEY DO TOWARDS ENTREPRENEURS

Between December 2002 and February 2003, I wrote what I called an Entrepreneurs Survival Reference Manual titled 25 Avoidable Mistakes No One Will Warn You About In Starting Your Own Business In Nigeria(80 pages).

Below I reproduce excerpts from the foreword I wrote for that book:

Current Attitudes Of Nigerians Towards Entrepreneuring.

A good understanding of the “mistakes” I will be describing in this book is important for your survival as a start-up entrepreneur in Nigeria. To facilitate the process, I have provided below, an analytical backdrop of the thinking Nigerians have about entrepreneurship in general.

I. A Foreigner’s Perspective

Before I give you my ideas, I’ll share with you some that I came across quite by accident some time ago. What follows below is what I consider an uncanningly accurate opinion submission by a foreigner, in a reputable international magazine – TIME - of August 23, 1999. Sadly, I have not been able to lay my hands on the actual edition. What I do have, is an adaptation of the write-up done in a little publication called “Interface”(Oct. 99 edition) periodically circulated by TOM ASSOCIATES, a management consultancy based in Idi Iroko, Anthony, Lagos.

The author of the piece I speak of, going by his/her analysis of the way Nigerians see entrepreneurs/entrepreneuring, could be rightly considered to have a very good understanding of our “psyche” as a people. I invite you to read the adapted version of the article titled “Culture And Enterprise” (see box below), and judge for yourself.

CULTURE AND ENTRPEPRISE

Nigeria suffers from a dearth of rapidly growing profitable small private businesses. Such businesses create 80 percent of the new jobs in the United States. This must be disturbing for Nigeria that needs to modernize for the 21st century and bring down persistently high unemployment.

But what really causes this entrepreneurship gap? And what can be done about it? Lack of dynamism is only too well known – bureaucracy, over-regulation and a shortage of risk capital.

Many people are risk-averse with a penchant for a steady, secure job where all the benefits are spelled out. People prefer standard employment to contract. People are scared to take risks even when the rewards are high.

Furthermore, the personal qualities needed to be a successful entrepreneur are often perceived as pushy, and potentially dishonest.

There are other cultural attitudes like the leadership status given in the society to, say, unproven sudden millionaires and overnight football stars who earn a lot of money. And business failure is viewed as entirely negative in many communities, something to be ashamed about. You hardly get new support from banks and you may lose your friends.

In the 21st century, Nigeria may reduce the public sector as it is happening in other continents outside Africa. That may make private business venturing more compelling and prestigious.

Adapted from: TIME MAGAZINE – August 23, 1999

Post Your Comments!

I urge you to freely post your comments on the issues raised in this email sent by my anonymous "admirer" on my blog at http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com/pblog/index.php. I have decided to suspend my series on Entrepreneur Abuse and circulate the link to this page to everyone on my mailing list inviting them to read its contents and have their say.

I also plan to publish a long overdue article on issues like this in a few days.

PLEASE feel free to email this page to your friends. I will thank you for it.

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